The Knights of the Round Table Plus Two
by C Crunch
Summary: Two teenage boys that are just a wste of air stumble onto a strange adventure after an incounter with a strange fellow
1. The Idiots Stumble into and Adventure

THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE PLUS TWO BUMBLING IDIOTS

Disclaimer: We do not own Monty Python and the Holy Grail (no matter how much we dream), slurpies, or Beavis and Butt-Head

And NO Tre and Jimmy are not based off of Beavis and Butt-head at all (just have creepy similarities)

Remember if it's in between - - these then it's an action and if it's in between ( ) then it's a thought

CHAPTER ONE: The Idiots stumble into an adventure

Jimmy and Tre : -two teenage boys sitting on a leather couch watching TV-

Tre: DUDE Jimmy pass the chips

Jimmy: Dude no get your own chips

Tre: GIVE ME THE CHIPS!

Jimmy: FINE! -hands Tre the old stale potato chips- Its not like I was eatin em anyways...

Tre: Hey Jimmy look what I can do! -sticks straws up his big nose, the straw disappears-

Jimmy: WOAH! ITS MAGIC!

Brenda: -Tre's sister... comes in and turns off TV- You guys have been sitting here for 3 DAYS STRAIGHT! HAVE YOU EVEN MOVED!

Tre: Shea. We got up and flipped the couch cushions cuz Jimmy had a major butt-attack. Duh god Brenda your so stupid.

Jimmy: It hurt

Brenda: -rolls eyes- Ok Either you guys get your butt off the couch or I'm kicking you off because I'm having some friends over to watch a movie

Tre: Uh no. Why cant you and your little boyfriend just make out in here while we watch a movie?

Brenda: TRE STOP IT YOU JERK! AND WE NOT GOING TO WATCH BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD DO AMERICA OR MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL IN A MARATHON AGAIN NOW GET OUT! -points to door-

Jimmy: Uhhhhhh so that's a no?

Brenda: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Tre: Come on Jimmy we're low on slurpies anyway...

Jimmy: Slurpies? SWEET!

Jimmy and Tre: -walk out of Tre's house, walking around down town-

Jimmy: Uh dude isn't there a short to the slurpies?

Tre: Jimmy I'm an old pro at this I think I'd know if there was a shortcut.

Jimmy: Whatever. passes signs that say SHORT CUT TO SLURPIES Hey Tre...

Tre: What?

Jimmy: Ever wanna be in a movie?

Tre: Uh if there's hot chicks in there shea

Jimmy: Oh ok.

Tre: Why?

Jimmy: Cuz of this. -pulls out poster-

Poster: EVER WANNA BE IN A MOVIE? LIKE HOT CHICKS? HAVE AN IQ LOWER THAN A ROCK? COME TO US!

Magical Marko, 1234 1234 Street

Tre: WOAH JIMMY WE GOTTA GO HOT CHICKS!

Jimmy: I just thought Marko was a cool name...

Tre WE GOTTA GET THERE! Now, where is 1234 Street?... -looks up at street sign that says 1234 Street- GOD THIS IS SO HARD!

Jimmy: Uh Tre...

Tre: JIMMY I CAN DO THIS! - looks at Jimmy than at sign- AH HA! WE"RE HERE! Am I good or what?

Jimmy: Whatever... looks around- Here it is dude... -goes into store followed by Tre-

: -deep mysterious voice- WHO GOES THERE?

Jimmy: Uh.. Jimmy

: Jimmy of what?

Jimmy: Uh... Jimmy of... Tre's couch?

Tre: Ohoh and Tre of... also Tre's couch!

: YES, YES, I PREDICTED YOU WOULD BE COMING! - pink fog fills room-

Jimmy: Ohhhh pretty...

Tre: Don't be a girly man!

Jimmy: Uh

:-very little man with huge glasses wearing a santa hat spray painted blue and a terry cloth blue robe comes out of the fog- I AM MAGICAL MARCO!

Tre: Magical Munchkin Marco...

Jimmy: Huhuhuhuhuhuh

Tre: Huhuhhuhuhuhuh

Magical Marco : QUIET FOOLS! Um... -opens a trick can of peanuts and a snake come flying out-

Tre: -snake hits Tre- AHHH JIMMY IT"S EATING MY FACE AHHH SAVE ME AHH! -rolling around on ground-

Jimmy: huhuhuhuh snake huhuhuhuh eating your face hhuhuhuhuhuh

Magical Marco: -bends over and picks up trick snake- SEE MY POWER?

Tre: -on knees- Please Magical Marko forgive me!

Magical Marko: Um... Ok! (They are my only costumers..)

Tre: jumps up SWEET!

Jimmy: So Mr. Marko sir mam person... can we be IN a movie now?

Magical Marko: OF COURSE! I WILL NOW PERFORM MY MAGIC! First let me get my popcorn... pulls popcorn out of sleeve

Tre: (HOW"D HE DOOOO THAT?)

Jimmy: So do we get the hot girls up front or what?

Magical Marko: Well sort of. You see this is a special movie. -turns on T.V., puts Monty Python and the Holy Grail in-

Jimmy and Tre: DUDE I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

Tre: WHAT A STRANGE PERSON!

Jimmy: WE ARE THE NIGHTS WHO SAY NI!

Magical Marko: Yes yes yes I know you two could go on forever but my popcorn will get cold! So... with my magical powers... YOU SHALL CLIMB INTO THE TV AND BE PART OF THE MOVIE! -pushes a button and evil music plays- TO ENTERTAIN ME! MUHAHAHAHA!

Jimmy: Cool.

Tre: I'm game.

Magical Marko: -sits in recliner- Great. Climb in.

Tre: What?

Jimmy: Huh?

Magical Marko: Climb into the T.V.

Tre: Come again?

Jimmy: Huh?

Magical Marko: CLIMB INTO THE TV!

Tre: Uh... no comprendae.

Jimmy: Huh?

Magical Marko: Urg! -runs up and shoves them into the T.V. -

T.V.: Screen turns into gel substance letting Jimmy and Tre slide through then turns back to glass

Magical Marko: -sits back in Recliner- Fantastic! Let the show begin!

Well that's all for Chapter one... I wrote it pretty quickly but I'm working on chapter two... hope you like it!


	2. A Useless Discovery

CHAPTER TWO: A RATHER USELESS DISCOVERY

Disclaimer: We do not own Green Day's St. Jimmy or Indiana Jones

Jimmy and Tre: -falling through space-

Tre: AHAHAHAHHHHHHHH!

Jimmy: This is bogus. I want to sing a song...

Tre: AHHHHHHHH!

Jimmy: -singing- MY NAME"S ST JIMMY AND YOU BETTER NOT WEAR IT OUT! SUCIDE COMEDO THAT YOUR MOMMA TALKED ABOUT! KING OF THE POINTY THINGS IM HERE TO REPRESENT!...

TRE: AHHHH MY EARS! AHHHHH!

Jimmy: Geeze Tre I'm not that bad...

Tre: AHHHHHHH!

Jimmy: God...-looks down and sees the ground quickly approaching-

Both: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! -land on ground with a Thud-

Tre: -underneath Jimmy- Urg...

Jimmy: -hops up unharmed- Thanks dude!

Tre: -sprawled out on ground- yeah... -gets up- Dude where are we?

Jimmy: Mid-evil England, 932 A.D.!

Tre: WTF? Who do you know that?

Jimmy: Uh the thick forests, the beggars, the castle in the background, the smell of burning poo, the sign...

Sign: MID-EVIL ENGLAND 932 A.D.

Tre: Oh that's wicked cool. -gasp- JIMMY! YOUR DRESSED IN SOME PRETTY FLY ARMOR!

Jimmy: What? -looks down at his body- WOAH I AM! -looks at Tre- DUDE YOU ARE TOO!

Tre: WOAH! - pulls out sword- This is too cool!

Jimmy: -looking at shield- Hey! My symbol thing is a slurpie! What's yours?

Tre: -looks at shield- Uh... a couch.

Both: Coooooool!

Jimmy: So what now?

Tre: Uh...

: -distant sound of coconuts being banged together-

Jimmy: What's that?

Tre: I danno... but they won't mess with us cuz we have kick butt armor!

Jimmy: YEA!

: -coconut sounds stop- -a strange deep voice- Squire! This is the chosen spot! I'm sure of it! We must find the help sent from God on foot from here, for the brush is too dense! -sword comes cutting through woods -

Tre: This is so like that one pimp... uh.. What's his name..?

Jimmy: Indian Joseph

Tre: Yeah, Indian Joseph!

Jimmy: Cool

Tre: I know

- stranger jumps into the clearing- I AM ARTHUR! KING OF THE BRITAINS!

Tre: Hey

Jimmy: Zup

King Arthur: -looks at them- Why aren't you bowing? You need to BOW!

Tre: Uh... ok

Jimmy: Whatever

Jimmy and Tre: -bow down-

Jimmy: Hey Tre Check this out!

Tre: What?

Jimmy: -just as Tre looks over jabbs him in the chest with his elbow- Huhuhuh got you dude

Tre: -lying on ground- Huhuhuh you got me good dude...

Jimmy: I know -stands up-

King Arthur: -to squire- Are you sure we got the chosen place correct? These IDIOTS can NOT possibly be the CHOSEN KNIGHTS!

Squire: -nods head- Yes yes I do think you've got it right, the clearing in the forest

King Arthur: Hmm. I see

Jimmy and Tre: Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh

King Arthur: OH BRAVE KNIGHTS CHOSEN BY OUR LORD IN HEAVEN! PLEASE ACCOMPANY ME ON MY QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL!

Tre: What's in it for me?

Jimmy: YEA!

King Arthur: Er... fortune, fame...

Tre: HOT CHICKS?

King Arthur: I beg your pardon! Well..er.. Yes I suppose so...

Tre: IM IN!

Jimmy: Yeah! Me too!

King Arthur: Excellent! We must start right away! But FIRST I must offically knight you! What would be thy names?

Tre: Tre

Jimmy: JIMMY!

Jimmy and Tre: -keel again-

King Arthur: I daub thee -tapping Jimmy's shoulder- Jimmy the... um... Jimmy the... Jimmy the Tall!

Jimmy: SWEET!

King Arthur: And I daub thee -tapping Tre's shoulder- Tre the... Tre the Idiot.

Tre: WICKED!

King Arthur: -puts away sword- Now... WE'RE OFF! -mounts invisible steed and gallops off-

Jimmy and Tre: -look at each other then follow King Arthur-

Squire: -clopping coconuts together-

King Arthur: Jimmy the Tall and Tre the Idiot... we have an extremely important task ahead, THE SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL!

- dramatic music-


	3. Are We There Yet?

CHAPTER THREE: ARE WE THERE YET?

Patsy the Squire: -clopping coconuts together-

King Arthur: -trotting on invisible horse through a dirty town-

Tre, Jimmy: -walking slowly behind Arthur-

Tre: Are we there yet?

King Arthur: No

Jimmy: Are we there yet?

King Arthur: NO!

Jimmy: Fine, god, your always so... NO!

Tre: -picks up rock- Is THIS the Holy Grail?

King Arthur: NOOOO!

Jimmy: -leans over to Tre- Told you...

Tre: SO uh Mr. King man, what are we doing?

King Arthur: We are going to Camelot where you are going to meet the other brave knights that will accompany you on your journey! They are a fine bunch of men...

Tre: -stops walking- OH NO! JIMMY! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE! -shaking Jimmy-

Jimmy: Uh... why?

Tre: I FORGOT TO TIVO THE PAID PROGRAMING! NOOO!

Jimmy: NOOOOOO! WE GOTTA GET BACK! BUT HOW? -shifty eyes-

King Arthur: -going on like he didn't hear them- ...and THAT'S why I'm afraid of butterflies. I say, what has gotten into you two?

Jimmy and Tre: -running around in circles- WHAT CAN WE DO WHAT CAN WE DO!

-back in Marko's Magical shop-

Magical Marko: -laughing his butt off- NO BUTT COME BACK BUTT! -runs out of store chasing butt- NOOO!

-back in the movie-

Tre: MAGICAL MARKO! LET US OUT! PLEASE!

Jimmy: YEAH YOU HAVE POP CORN AND I WANT IT! -stops and eyes bug out, falls to the ground and rolls around- OW BUTT ATTACK! OW! IT HURTS! MAKE IT STOP TRE MAKE IT STOP!

Cart Master: BRING OUT YER DEAD! -bang- BRING OUT YER DEAD! -walks up to Jimmy who has just went limp- I see we have one here!

Tre: I think he's not quite dead yet...

Cart Master: That's what they all say... -picks up Jimmy and puts him on cart-

King Arthur: - galloping ahead of them-

Jimmy:-unable to move or speak due to pain of butt-attack-

Tre: Uh... -makes Jimmy sit up on cart-

Jimmy: -eyes are rolled back, mouth is hanging open-

Tre: -starts making Jimmy's top half of his body move- -talking in a high voice- MY NAMES JIMMY! IM FEELING MUCH BETTER! I THINK I'LL GO FOR A WALK... I FEEL HAPPY! I FEEL HAPPY!

Cart Master: HE LIVES! THIS IS AMAZING! GET HIM OFF MY CART IM BREAKING A DOZEN REGULATIONS..

Tre: -trying to pull Jimmy off Cart-

Jimmy: -flops off cart, is sprawled on ground-

Tre: Uh... Naptime?

Cart Man: Who are you anyway? A King? A noble?

Tre: Dude.. I'm Tre the idiot of Tre's couch!

Cart Master: Very well. See you next Thursday. If anything dies all you have to do if send me a swallow...

Tre: Huhuh... African or European?

Cart Master: -shakes head and walks off- ( I should have known he was a noble.. He ain't got shit on em!)

Tre: -dragging Jimmy's body and catches up with King Arthur-

King Arthur: AH HA! CAMELOT!

Tre: Camelot?

Jimmy: ... (Came o' lot? Is that a store)

Patsy the Squire: Its only a model...

Tre: Are we there yet?


	4. CAMELOT!

CHAPTER FOUR: CAMELOT!

Disclaimer: We DO NOT own Hot Topic, Journey's, or Monty Python... sadly...

Narrator: And NOW! For the book of the film! HEY! WHERE'S MY BOOK! WHO TOOK MY BOOK!

Tre: -reading- Oh sorry...

Narrator: GIVE ME THAT! -grabs book of film- Now... as I was saying...

The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow: Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Gallahad the Pure, and Sir Robin the- not- quite- so- brave- as- Sir- Lancelot, and then the just plain stupid duo, Tre and Jimmy...

Tre: -putting on ape glove-

Narrator: -waiting- I SAID " THE JUST PLAIN STUPID DUO, TRE AND JIMMY!

Tre: -struggling to put on glove- HOLD ON GEEZE!

Jimmy: (...)

Tre: -takes off glove and throws it on the ground- oh screw it!

Narrator: -shakes head and goes away-

Jimmy: -recovered form the butt attack- Hey Tre... how come if that was a narrator why could he shake his head?

Tre: I DON'T KNOW!

Jimmy: ... Magic...

King Aurthur: Ah, yes, Camelot... home of silly singing knights...

All: -walk into the castle, in mid-evil hall-

Knights of the Round Table: -singing-

We're Knights of the Round Table.

We dance whenever we're able.

We do routines and chorus scenes

With footwork impeccable.

We dine well here in Camelot.

We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

Tre: JIMMY THIS IS AMAZING! ITS LIKE THE BACK OF HOT TOPIC WITH A JOURNEY'S TWIST AND ARMOR!

Jimmy: YEA I KNOW THIS IS LIKE SOOO COOL!

Tre: -starts signing and doing a ho down-

We're Knights of the Round Table.

Our shows are formidable,

But many times we're given rhymes

That are quite unsingable.

We're opera mad in Camelot.

We sing from the diaphragm a lot

Jimmy: -in dungeon with poisoner-

DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY!

Prisoner: - clap clap clap clap -

Jimmy: THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

King Arthur: Mayyyy be we SHOULDN'T have gone to Camelot... (stoners and dancing knights just don't mix...)

-BACK AT MAGICAL MARCO'S SHOP-

Magical Marco- Atlas! I have found my butt! -comes back in shop to see a tall, lanky boy with a dull look in his eyes staring at the T.V.- May I help You?

Boy: My names... uhhhhh...

Magical Marko: Your related to the tall Jimmy aren't You?

Boy: Yeah... I forget my name...

Magical Marco: -reads boy's name tag- Matt?

Matt: Yeah that's it!

Magical Marko: Well have a seat and watch your brother's stupidity ! -points to his brother on the screen-

Matt:... ok... HEY THAT'S MY BROTHER!

Magical Marko: I see the resemblance...


	5. Monkey Gods

CHAPTER FIVE: MONKEY GODS

Disclaimer: I am not the leader of The Monkey Gods cult, nor do I own the Monkey gods

BACK IN THE MOVIE:

King Arthur: We were to meet the rest of my knights here, but I can't seem to find them...

Tre: The ones behind you?

King Arthur: Behind me? That is absurd! I'm the KING and I have a keen sence on telling if my own knights are behind me!

Jimmy: LOOK A SWALLOW! BEHIND YOU!

King Arthur: WHERE? -quickly turns around to see Sir. Bedevere, Sir Lancelot, Sir Gallahad,

and Sir Robin standing there-

Knights: HELLO!

King Arthur: -turns back around to face Jimmy and Tre- I knew that...

Tre: SURE ya did...

BACK IN MAGICAL MARCO'S SHOP

Magical Marco: Matthew, would you like some pop corn?

Matt: ...

Magical Marko: Were you dropped on your head as a child?

Matt:...

Magical Marko: -looks at screen to see that he had missed a bit of the movie- Oh Matt this is my favorite part! God comes down, you see, to Tell King Arthur his mission, and...

Matt: Yes I would like some popcorn please.

Magical Marko: ... Idiot...

BACK IN THE MOVIE

All: -on their invisible steeds-

Patsy the Squire: -clop clop clop clop-

-angels singing, the heavens part open to show a cheesy god puppet-

All: -Stop-

Patsy: -clop clop clop-

King Arthur: STOP IT STOP IT!

Patsy the Squire: -does one more clop and stops-

God: ARTHUR, KING OF THE BRITAINS!

Tre: Hey! That's him! OH OH THAT'S HIM! -hopping up and down pointing to King Arthur-

King Arthur: -steps to the front of group- I AM ARTHUR, KIND OF THE BRITAINS!

God: I think we settled that.. Now, as I was saying...

Jimmy: -raises hand- Dude, I have a question...

God: Um, yes, fine, you, the tall one, what is you question?

Jimmy: Who are you?

God: I am...

Jimmy: WAIT! I wasn't finished! Ok, AND how long did it take you to grow a bead that big cuz Tre and I are tying to but it's not working out...

God:..

Jimmy: I'm done.

God: I'm god, a long time, and that's not a question.

Jimmy: Oh, fine then, whatever.

Tre: We don't believe in you, Mr. God... you're a fragment of my lactation...

God: What? Excuse me?

Jimmy: We are believers of the Monkey Gods. They're real... your not!

God: MONKEY GODS?

Tre: -squats down and begins swinging on his fists- OH MONKEY GODS! OHHEEE -making monkey noises-

Jimmy: -doing the same as Tre-

God: -looks at King Arthur- I don't have to put up with this! I'M GOD! FIND THE FRIGGIN HOLY GAIL FOR ME! AND BE THANKFUL I DIDN'T SMITE YOU!

-heavens close and thunder rumbles-

Bedevere: -holds up part of his helmet- Monkey Gods?

Lancelot: What strange people...

Galahad: Hey that's my line!

Lancelot: No, I said PEOPLE! You say PERSON! Different.

Gallahad: Oh ok.

King Arthur: - in shock- Er... onward?

Galahad: GOD BE PRAISED! LET'S GET ON WITH THIS TRIP!

Patsy: -clop clop clop clop-


End file.
